I have decided to attempt a diary about my journey away from diabetes, because I am aware that what you give your attention to grows.
Today, after doing my best to delay a final call to my GP after several blood tests and a second episode of ill health, I received a letter in the post from my practice informing me that I am at high risk of developing type 2 diabetes.
Since I am a writer, I know no better way of alleviating stress than writing, so I have decided to attempt a diary.
When I was a teenager, my grandmother bought me a Letts Disneyland diary, and I attempted to write in it. The entries were utterly boring and read thus:
I gave up writing the diary, deciding that I am not a diarist. At the age of 16 I was possessed with a sudden urge to write again, this time a children’s story. That first story was about a wasp. I was in to German at the time and called the wasp Derbold, because der means the in German, and he was a bold wasp. I illustrated this book. And perhaps, when I have more time, I will include a picture of one of my illustrations for it since I was lucky enough to be able to print several copies as books for friends at the time, which I kept.
Still, since I feel I have no choice but to write about this, I hope that I will improve with practice, and that anyone who has the misfortune to attempt to read my diary will or may benefit from reading it at some point in their lives.
Day one of my journey
Today I opened a letter informing me that I am at “high risk” of developing type 2 diabetes.
I felt like crying. This is an understatement. I felt like crying and crying and crying.
My next thought was of all the sugary things I will have to give up.
I went to play tennis, which I have been doing once or twice a week for the past year, and whilst there I kept thinking about what I need to give up. No more cherry pie after dinner, no more tinned tomato soup on Sundays.
I then asked my partner of 8 years whether we could buy pork and lamb instead of ready meals which contain sugar and which he buys in Tesco because they are reduced. I am quite happy without the sauce in the ready meals, which is probably what contains the sugar.
I went home and began obsessing about the 2 snicker bars I have been eating almost every day for the past month, because they are only 49p for two. At the moment my eating life seems to revolve around what is the most reasonable thing to eat that I enjoy.
I made myself two cups of tea, to take away the negative thoughts, did some handstands, and ate an apple which was very sugary and got me wondering what is more sweet, an apple or a snickers bar.
I will look this up and post it on my next blog.
Bye for now…